Nancy Jean Wagner was about three months older than me and died recently, on September 21st, 2014. I knew Nancy after her retirement from teaching in 2003, because I came up to Gualala to speak at meetings. She was always a hospitable host for my wife and myself and even allowed us to use her house when she was away -- my grandsons even came up on one occasion. Her house was bespoke, beautiful, and on a hill overlooking the sea.
She had two cats -- Orion, who was a great hunter and who sadly faded away and died just as we came up on one of our visits -- the other, Snickerdoodle, so named because of a peculiar kink in his tail, was a less accomplished hunter, but used to ambush our dog, Toto, around the house.
Finally the Gualala meeting ended, but I still saw her in Point Arena and Oakland from time to time. Then Nancy was found to have cancer and, after eighteen months of full living, including a visit to Hawaii, she passed away. She was artistic, funny, intelligent. I miss her. I miss her generosity, her humor, her loving presence.
I visited Gualala for her memorial service, driving up in my Mini-Cooper, top-down, imagining Nancy would have approved, as she too drove a roadster. The night before I went up to the coast, I didn't sleep well and mulled over some verses about what she meant to me and the following is the result...
For Nancy
When I look up in the Southern sky
And discern Orion, striding on,
I think of you...
And of your cat of cats that stalked his prey
Between home and shore and led the way
To investigate eternity ahead...
Now you are gone too...
And I miss your artistic grace,
Joy of life, serenity...
And even though these still remain,
You did them well, teacher.
So, when I sometimes hear
The ocean surge upon a far beach,
And the October wind combs the chapparal
Against the distant blue,
Or when with friends at close of day
And, conscious of that tolling bell,
(...It tolls for us all...)
I'm grateful for this precious time
And I remember you.
IFC
October 2014
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